What ever happened to “reciprocation”?

What ever happened to the kind and selfless act of giving your time to someone you care about especially if they’ve shown you the same kindness?

I’m certain that some of you are saying that just because someone is giving you something  it doesn’t mean you have to give them something in return but isn’t it polite to at least acknowledge that gift with appreciation, a kind “thank you” and the unspoken promise that someday the gift will be returned?

We seem to live in a world where people expect others to give their “gift” but only return it when it serves our needs.

It’s true when I give of my time or my self I do not expect it in return but there is a part of me that knows that those who really care will, without question, reciprocate in kind in some way. It’s part of being in healthy relationships.

AH there’s the rub, isn’t it? The “Healthy” part. There is or there should be a constant give and take in relationships, whether romantic or not, and yet from my experience many people seem to be takers only.  Giving only when it’s beneficial to themselves.

I think the correct term for people like this is “narcissist” though I can’t be certain. What I am certain of is that narcissism is a personality disorder and something we shouldn’t aspire to and yet it seems so many people do.

I can’t control other people, though let’s be honest if the people in my life would just listen to everything I say my life would be far less stressful and I’m sure everyone reading this can identify; I can only control my actions and it’s in my nature to reciprocate, sometimes to a fault but that’s my issue and I deal with it. But I’d much rather be known as a generous person to all than stingy.

Because it’s very close to that time of year a quote from the very excellent Charles Dickens,

“”It is required of every manthat the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellowmen, and travel far and wide; and if that spirit goes not forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death.”

just, saying.


One thought on “

  1. I’ve got that same impulse, be it flaw or generosity, to give without expectation.

    If you’re expecting, even demanding, something in return? Nope. I am wear of this air of assumed privilege, of entitlement. Be nice. Don’t be a jerk, and if you can spare an extra bit of kindness, do so.

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